Sunday, March 11, 2007

Cranes, Trains, & Automobiles

I was told that it was about time for me to write a respectable long run report. It's been a while since the last adventure-laden tall tale of running and danger. So here you are, then.

This morning, after a very short night due to Barbie cake baking (more on that later tonight) and daylight savings, I got up to run with Jo. I felt like caca. Like doodie. Even a bit like poo. The butterscotch pudding baby-produced type of poo. That's bad.
I got moving and hunted down my running clothes and ate some magic cereal (Rice Crispies...they are 'magic cereal' in our house due to their noise making abilities).

The temperature was somewhere in the low 20's I'm guessing, and the sky was blue and beautiful. I decided to run ninja-style (all black, with full ninja type hood/face mask)in case there was any trouble. Thank God I did.

There was a considerable amount of ice on the streets and sidewalks today from yesterday's melt and the night's freeze. This meant that Jo and I did a lot of slipping, sliding, tiptoeing, leaping, and swearing. As my very intellectual running partner explained, she is better on snow, while I am better on ice. Why, you might ask? Because she has Bozo sized feet that operate as snowshoes. Whereas I have freakishly tiny feet which allow me better stability on ice and other slick surfaces such as swimming pools of Crisco (on my wrestling nights) and polished linoleum. This is apparently because they support more weight per cubic inch. I'm not so sure if that was not actually some sort of comment on my girth. Regardless, there were several episodes of slapstick style arm-flailing, leg-spinning, and butt-landing. Mostly by Jo, with her less weight per square inch constitution.

Slipping and sliding, we kept on running.

About three miles into the run we came across a train. A long train. It was blocking our planned route, so we turned and ran parallel with it. The train pulled ahead a bit, so we dug in and gave 'er all we had....and started gaining. Car by grafiti covered car we slowly moved up toward the engine. Chugga chugga, chugga chugga, CHOOOO CHOOOOOOO! The train heaved with effort, steam pushing into the crisp air...the conductor hung out of his window looking back...then ahead...then back again..... Jo and I dug deep into the wells of our determination and grit and continued to move up. The train was approaching our last chance at turning and crossing the tracks. Jo and I looked at one another and gave a nearly invisible nod, and pushed onward. Fifty feet... forty-two feet.... thirty-three feet, four inches..... The train's steam was whistling and wheels grinding on the track. Jo and I pounded against the pavement, our breath growing louder and faster. Twelve feet.... eight feet.... I grabbed Jo's hand and pulled her with me across the tracks just as the train flew by, horn screaming.

A laugh was exchanged and we kept on running.

A couple of miles later we heard an unfamiliar call. Both of us stopped and turned, looking around to learn who was making the sound...."Hey Hotties!!!!!" "hoooooo Mamas!!!" Oh yeah, that's right...we were feeling pretty good about our hot selves at that moment. Then we realized that it was three cranes calling to another crane flying solo. Apparently male cranes are just as well-versed in cat-calling as males of the human variety. Who knew?

A bit demoralized we kept on running.

As is always the case, we had trouble with automobiles. People do not take kindly to runners in the street. So they aim for them. Somewhere around mile eight an elderly man and his wife rolled down the window of their Buick and pointed at us. I assumed that they were just like the others and would be yelling at us about not running on the (icy) sidewalk. I was just about ready to pull back and sock the guy in the eye when Jo grabbed my arm. As it turns out the nice 95 year old couple just needed directions.

I took a deep breath, gave the directions, and we kept on running.

We only did ten miles today because Libby's birthday was in a few hours and I needed to finish getting ready. We did well despite the cranes, trains, and automobiles.....

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