Radioactive Reb

I think that If I go into a dark room I will glow a nice bright shade of green. And it's quite possible that I would set off alarms if I tried to enter a government facility. Maybe they are using my body as a vessel in which to transport spy technology...I'm sure that they can see me from satellites with ease. Maybe the doctor really isn't concerned about my hip injury at all. Maybe I don't really even have an injury, but I've been secretly brainwashed into thinking that I have an injury...so that they could get me in to the hospital to inject me with radioactive material..... hmmmm, I hadn't thought of this before. What was that??? I think I heard something outside my house just now....Probably CIA or FBI agents monitoring my movements or trying to find a way to pump me full of more space-age spy technology....
Really, I'm not paranoid OR a conspiracy freak. Really. I'm not. I swear. Why don't you believe me??? Anyway, I had x-rays and bone scans today, and in order to see the bones and their vitality better, they shot me full of radioactive goo. I'll get the results on Monday.

Do you know if Radioactive Goo has some anti-gravity properties? Weightlessness? Because when I went to my dietician today, I was 5lbs lighter than three weeks ago. And 7lbs lighter than I was for the Marathon five or six weeks ago. I really can't believe that all of this dieting is actually working, can I?? Nah, probably just the Radioactive Goo.